If they could talk...

If my appliances could talk, I'm sure they'd say a lot of things. There'd be things I want them to say, and some things that I probably would rather they kept their trap shut on.

Take my fridge, for instance. It would sure be nice if it said/did things like,

"Close the door, Laura. You're just bored."
"You need new milk. This stuff expired last Easter."
Chucked vegetables at me and then locked itself.

It would not be as funny, though, if it said things like,

"If I'm running, why don't you catch me?" (hyuk hyuk)
"I am a refrigerator, not an air conditioner."

My oven would yell at me and tell me the last pan of cookies was done so that I never overbake them again.

My microwave would know when my roommates are sleeping and wouldn't make the beeps that always sound like the back-up beeps for a garbage truck at 1:00 in the morning.

My dishwasher would tell me if it was clean or dirty.

And my coffeemaker would just be quiet. Because I don't have one.

And now, the best part of my blog: some of the CUTEST ANIMALS EVER.

 It's okay, little guy! You're on the beach!

 I don't know who this lamb is and why he's wearing a poncho. But I want him.

When polar bears attack. Too bad they don't stay this small forever.